Countering Resistance

"Between stimulus and response there is a space. In that space lies a power to choose our response. In our response lies our growth and freedom." -V. Frankl

Giving in to "not-doing" is like an addiction. It provides momentary relief, but erodes the will, and defeats your long-term goals. Why do we resist making efforts that could help us? How do we answer those objections?

1. Cynicism: "There is no point. I will probably fail again. Thinking positive is just pretense." You are afraid your efforts won't help.

Response: You can't know unless you try. Inaction is failure too.

2. Defiance: "I refuse! I can't bear it!" You refuse to accept what is facing you because it feels too disappointing, difficult, unfair, infuriating, shameful.

Response: Yes, you can bear it. Validate that those feelings are painful, and feel them. You can build your tolerance to feelings and still take action.

3. Identity: "It is not who I am." To truly accept what is in front of you feels like a loss of your Self - the way you want to see yourself, or be seen by others.

Response: YOU are not defined by your depression, your anxiety, or your losses. They are your circumstances, your story, not your identity.

4. Expectation: "I didn't sign up for this." I don't want it and don't deserve it.

Response: No, you didn't, and don't. No one signs up for misfortune. But to thrive now, you have to update your vision and re-write it.

What are you protecting? What is at risk? What could you gain? Resistance is "sitting on the fence" between action and inaction, and it is painful in it's own way. (A fence is a very uncomfortable place to sit.)

Choose to be courageous, face yourself, and take action.