Press "Enter" to skip to content



The expressions “pushes your buttons,” “makes you crazy,” “triggers you” all refer to what happens when a seemingly small event can make you lose your cool, hit the ceiling, or fall apart. When someone says or does something minor and in a nano-second you are seriously upset – furious and yelling, or frozen in terror, or deeply hurt and crying, or withering in shame – that’s an overreaction.  Not to say that whatever happened didn’t deserve a reaction – it did, but just not that huge!

Why do these overreactions happen?  The answer is in the past, when something happened to you – maybe once, maybe twice, maybe regularly – which affected you deeply.  You might remember it, but not realize that it can still affect you today because its importance has been minimized over time. Or you might have forgotten it altogether.

One of the elements of therapy is mining the past to discover the events which fuel the overreactions of today.  The past can’t be changed, but as you uncover the sources of all that extra energy, your reactions in the present can become more manageable.

Take a look at the chapter in my book called “Why Your Past Matters” for more on this very hot subject!